7 Life Lessons that no one will tell you
As we grow, we believe that apart from just the numbers increasing, we are also getting matured, thanks to all the information and knowledge we are showered with from our teachers, parents, elder siblings, and other older members in the family. What we tend to forget that the experience they have shared is very specific to their style of living life, there are many more important lessons that will come in handy in your life. These lessons are learned through experience, reading books, meeting new people, and most of all by your own understanding of life and people.
Why we aren’t taught important lessons?
Since I was a kid, until now that I am 28 these are some lessons that I have been continuously reminded of no matter the situation, the circumstances, and of course my age.
- Never fail: Failure is for losers, so make sure always to be successful, even if that means not trying something new. Also, your failure affects our image in society, so make sure to always make us proud.
- Study: Study because that will help you get a job, and a job will give you money which will make you respectable in society.
- Get Married: No matter how much you try the above two things, marriage is the end goal. You have to get married and do what your husband tells you to. If he is settled in the USA, leave the job and go there. If he helps you in the daily chores, your good luck, if not, men are like that.
- Buy a House: Once you are married buy a house, a car because that is the societal norm. It will make people realize that you are well settled.
- Have Babies: Now it is time for babies. Have babies and now do what the baby wants you to do. It wants you to quit your job to do it.
Well, the list can go on, this is the standard list which I have mugged up since I was a kid. While I personally have not followed this list. I have failed in exams, left my job to prepare for an exam which I didn’t get through. Then started a new career, I am at 28 still unmarried. So yes I am pretty much on my own right now.
Though I haven’t followed this list, there is a separate list which I believe has really helped me in staying strong through all the tough times.
Important lessons to learn
This list that I have combined is not full and final, just certain things that I have learned in 28 years of life through reading, experience, and risks.
- You are special: The one important things that we must remind ourselves every second of each day is ‘I am special’. We all are special, and it is important to remind ourselves daily about it. Special does not necessarily mean have a unique skill, knowledge, having a good job, or any of it. It merely means that you are different from all the others around you and only if you tell yourself you are special, will you realize what makes you unique.
Make Yourself a priority once in a while. It’s not selfish, but necessary
2. Develop a Habit: A habit is a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously. You should try to develop a habit of doing something that makes you happy and contributes to your development. The habit can include reading, writing, dancing, drawing anything that you feel most connected to.
It is also not necessary to just have one habit, you can also try different things and see what contents with you most. The Goldilocks Rule states that humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Not hard, not too easy. Just right.
In the book Atomic Habits the author writes:
Boiling water will soften a potato but harden an egg. You can’t control whether you’re a potato or an egg, but you can decide to play a game where it’s better to be hard or soft.
3. Do not be afraid to take a risk: Life is a journey that you g through, and there is no journey without some bumps. These bumps are the ones that make the journey exciting and introduce you to a new avenue. So never be afraid of taking risks. It may look like a herculean task but in hindsight, it will be the turning point in your life that will offer you the best experience.
Risks not only make our journey beautiful but also make us strong and confident. We face challenges that we never knew existed, we go through situations that we never thought we would worry about.
If you are not taking the risk, you should be ready to settle for the ordinary.
4. Pave your own path: You are the driver to your life so only you can take yourself to the final destination. Thus, it is important to pave your own path, instead of relying on someone else to do it for yourself. Whether there is some trouble at work, a fight at home, you can take advice from others, but in the end, only you know what is right for you. Do not let anyone else define who you are and what your future holds for you.
Even if you get married or have babies, and you want to leave a job, let that decision be your alone and not of the society.
Be your own reason to smile.
5. Learn: Learning is to gain or acquire knowledge of or skill in (something) by study, experience, or being taught.There is a difference between studying and learning. Studying is done for the sole purpose of a job or exams, learning is when you get to the basics of what you are studying and understand it completely.
So whatever you find interesting learn it for yourself, and not to get a job. What eventually happens is not in your control. Right from when I was a kid, I wrote poems, stories, and read a lot of books. I never thought of writing as something I would do professionally. I went on to do mechanical engineering, got a job in an automotive company. But stars played their role and today I write for a living.
This happened not because I studied writing, instead, I learned and improved on it because it gave me happiness.
The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you
6. Be with someone who respects you: Staying alone forever is not a choice which most of us make. Sooner or later we find someone to spend our lives with, but what is important is to choose that person wisely. Do not be with someone because you love them, instead be with them because you respect each other.
Respect plays an important role in life, while love may fade, your respect will stay intact. Respect will help you in not being suffocating of each other as you will respect each other’s work, privacy, and overall personality without any conditions.
Love yourself enough to surround yourself with people who respect you
7. Exercise Daily: Not many people understand that exercise is not to lose weight, instead, it helps you stay fresh and fit. It is a little difficult to get in the groove of exercising, but once you get in the flow, and you see the result, there is no turning back.
By exercise I do not mean go to the gym, just take out 30 mins from your schedule to do yoga, home exercise, run, swim, or just go for a walk. You will see the difference in both your physical and mental health.
‘Sometimes exercise is all the therapy you need’.
Conclusion
As I mentioned earlier, this list is not exhaustive and as I learn so Shall I keep updating this list. Until then I hope these life lessons come in handy and if you too have something to share, I am open to more learnings.
